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"One of the most important rules in the science of good manners is an almost total silence about oneself. Treat yourself to the pastime, some day, of talking about yourself to people of slight acquaintance; hold forth to them about your woes, your pleasures or your business affairs; you will see indifference follow hard upon feigned interest, then, once boredom has set in, if the hostess does not politely interrupt you, every man will seize on an ingenious excuse to slip away.

But if you want to command all their sympathies, to pass for a likable man, lively of wit and consistently pleasant of manner, talk to them about themselves, do your utmost to make them the center of attention, even by bringing up a subject seemingly unconnected with the individuals concerned. Brows will come to life, lips will smile for you and when you have left, everyone will sing your praises.

The voice and heart and conscience will tell you where contemptible flattery begins and graceful conversation ends. One word more, about airing your opinions in public. My dear, young people are always prone to a certain swiftness of judgment which is their credit, but not to their advantage.

"Mot trong nhung quy tac quan trong nhat cua khoa hoc xa giao la su im lang tuyet doi ve ban than minh. Ban hay thu choi cai tro, mot ngay nao do, noi den minh cho nhung quen so; noi ve nhung dau kho cua ban, nhung vui thu cua ban, hay nhung cong viec cua ban, ban se thay lanh nhat tiep theo mot su chu y ngoai mat, roi thi su chan nan bat dau, neu ba chu nha khong ngat loi ban mot cach te nhi, thi moi nguoi cu lang ra voi nhung ly do dua ra that kheo leo.

Nhung neu ban muon tap hop quanh ban tat ca cam tinh cua ho, muon ho coi ban la mot con nguoi de thuong va co tri tue, co giao duc rat chac chan, dang tin cay, ban hay noi chuyen voi ho ve ho, tim cach dua ho len san khau, du phai neu len nhung van de co the la khong dinh liu hay khong phu hop voi moi nguoi, ca vang tran se sinh dong, ca camp moi se no nhung nu cuoi va khi ban da di roi thi ai ai cung ca tung ban.

Luong tri cua ban cung nhu trai tim cua ban se bao cho ban biet dau la ranh gioi giua su xu ninh hen nhat va cai duyen phong nha cua nguoi doi thoai.. Toi muon noi them mot loi nua ve van de noi nang ngoai xa hoi. Ban oi, tuoi tre thuong co khuynh huong nhan xet voi vang, cai do cung lam cho tuoi tre them uu diem, nhung lai co hai cho tuoi tre.

Whence the silence that the upbringing of bygone days imposed upon the young, who spent a period of probation with the eminent, during which time they studied life; for in days of old, Nobility, like Art, had its apprentices, pages who owed allegiance to the masters who fed and clothed them.

To-day, youth has a hot-house of knowledge, hence predominantly acid, which induces it to judge actions, ideas and writings with severity; it cuts with the edge of a blade which has not yet been used.

Avoid this failing. Your judgments would be strictures which would wound many of those around you and they may all forgive a secret injury less readily than any wrong you might do them in public.

Vi the cho nen nep giao duc cu bat buoc nguoi thanh nien den gan cac nhan vat cao quy de hoc tap cach xu the, phai biet suy nghi im lang, phai vay, ngay xua cuoc song cua tang lop quy toc, cung nhu la nghe thuat, co nhung nguoi theo hoc nghe, co nhung hoc tro tan tuy voi thay, va nguoi thay nuoi duong ho.

Ngay nay tuoi tre tiep thu mot thu hieu biet trong long kinh nong, rat chua chat, khien ho phan doan mot cach nghiem khac moi hanh dong, moi y nghi, moi van thu, ho chem dut van de voi mot luoi guom chua tung duoc chien dau bao gio.

Ban hay tranh cai benh lech lac ay. Nhung quyet doan cua ban se la nhung phan doan lam ton thuong den nhieu nguoi chung quanh ban, va moi nguoi se khong tha thu de dang nhu mot vet thuong bi mat, mot vet thuong ma ban gay ra cong khai.

Young men are without indulgence because they know nothing of life or its difficulties. The old critic is gentle and good-natured. The young one is implacable. The latter know nothing, the former everything. Besides, there is, at the root of all human actions, a labyrinth of determining reasons, on which God has reserved the final judgment.

Be hard only on yourself. Your fortune is before you, but nobody on earth can make his own unaided.

Tuoi tre khong biet tha thu, khong co do luong boi vi ho chang hieu gi ve cuoc doi, ve nhung kho khan trong cach xu the. Nha phe binh da co tuoi thi tot va hien, nguoi phe binh tre tuoi thi ra nghiem khac. Va lai o ben trong long sau tham cua moi hanh dong cua con nguoi, co mot cai tran do ma quai chang chit nhung ly le quyet dinh, ma Thuong De la nguoi phan xu cuoi cung.

Ban chi nen nghiem khac voi chinh ban ma thoi. Co nghiep cua ban o truoc mat, nhung trong cuoc doi nay, khong ai xay dung nen co nghiep cua minh ma khong can den su giup do.

. ...Cultivate my mother, then. If she is well disposed toward you she will introduce you to fashionable hostesses, in whose drawing-rooms you will acquire that crucial knowledge of the world, the art of conversing, of listening, of answering questions, of introducing yourself and of taking your leave; you will learn precision of speech, that indefinable something which is not the sum total of superiority any more than tailoring is of genius, but without which the fairest talents will never find recognition.

I know you well enough to be certain that I am cherishing no fond illusions in visualizing you, before hand, as I want you to be, simple in your ways, gentle of manner, proud without fatuousness, respectful towards the old, obliging without servility and above all, discreet. Show your wit but do not serve as entertainment to others--for remember that if you make a dull man feel inferior he will keep quiet and say when you have gone "He is most amusing"--which is a term of contempt.

... Ban hay theo sat me toi va hoc tap ba, neu ba muon lam on cho ban, ba se gioi thieu ban den nhung phong khach ma ban se hoc tap duoc cai khoa hoc ac nghiet cua xa giao, cai nghe thuat nghe, nghe thuat noi, tra loi, ra mat va rut lui, cai ngon ngu chinh xac, mot cai thu khong biet goi la gi, no khong lam nen tinh chat sieu viet, cung nhu la bo ao ngoai khong lam nen thien tai, nhung ma khong co no thi cai tai xuat sac nhat cung khong bao gio duoc chap nhan.

Toi hieu ban kha day du, nen khong phai la mo uoc hao huyen khi toi hinh dung truoc duoc ban se la con nguoi nhu toi mo uoc: gian di trong cu chi, tu ton trong loi noi, tu tin ma khong venh vao, ton kinh nguoi gia, san sang an can giup do moi nguoi khi can thiet ma khong co thai do ti tien, va nhat la kin dao. Ban hay phat huy anh sang cua tri tue sinh dong cua ban, nhung dung lam cai tro he mua vui cho moi nguoi--ban nen biet rang neu cai sieu viet cua ban lam phat y mot con nguoi tam thuong, thi han se im khong noi gi, roi sau do han se bao: "Ong ta rat ngo, nghinh", mot cach noi khinh bi.

Let your superiority be always leonine. And do not strive to please your fellow men. In your dealing with them, I would recommend a certain coolness, which can go as far as insolence without giving them cause to resent. ... Never keep company with people of disrepute, even when they do not deserve their reputation, for the world calls us to account as much for your friendships as for your enmities. Where these are concerned, let your judgment be long and maturely weighed, but let it be irrevocable.

When men you spurn have justified your spurning of them, your good opinion will be sought after and you will inspire that tacit respect which increases a man's stature in the world of men.

So there you are, armed with the youth that pleases, the grace that charms, the wisdom that keeps what it has won. Everything I have told you can be summed up in an old maxim: Noblesse Oblige.

Phai giu thai do khon kheo trong su sieu viet cua ban. Ban dung chu trong lam cho moi nguoi vua long. Trong quan he voi ho, toi khuyen ban, nen giu mot thai do thong tha, khong chu y den ho ma khong lam cho ho gian doi. ..... Ban dung de cho nhung ke da bi mat su ton trong cua xa hoi, o gan ban mac du ho bi oan uong, vi ngoai xa hoi, moi nguoi tim hieu ca nhung quan he ban be cung nhu thu dich cua ta.... Ve mat nay ban hay can nhac chin chan, lau dai nhung phan doan cua ban, va nhung phan doan ay co the khong the rut lai duoc.

Khi nhung ke bi ban xua duoi, that dang bi xua duoi, thi moi nguoi se co gianh duoc su quy trong cua ban. Nhu vay ban se lam cho moi nguoi co mot su dong tinh ton trong tu nhien cua moi nguoi, chinh cai dieu do nang cao dia vi cua ban trong cai xa hoi con nguoi.

The la ban da duoc vo trang cung voi tuoi tre, cai phong nha lam cho moi nguoi me, cai khon ngoan no bao ve nhung chien thang. Tat ca nhung dieu ma toi vua noi voi ban co the tom tat trong may chu nay: "Pham chat cao quy doi hoi phai nhu the."

"Now, apply these precepts to the strategy of business affairs. You will hear some people say that shrewdness is the secret of success; that the way to break through the crowed is to divide men so that they will make room for you.

My friend, those principles held good in the Middle Ages when there were rival powers that princes could set one against the other and so destroy. But today, nothing can be done under cover, and this method would do you great disservice.

Indeed, you will find in your path, now a true and honest man, now a treacherous enemy, one who will proceed by calumny, backbiting and deceit. Well, remember that you have no more powerful ally than the latter, for this man is his own worst enemy. You can fight him with honest weapons; sooner or later he will be despised.

As for the former, your frankness will win his esteem and once your interest are reconciled (these things can always be worked out) he will be useful to you. Do not be afraid of making enemies; woe to him who has none in the world you are about to enter. But try not to lay yourself open to ridicule or discredit.

Bay gio ta dem nhung phuong cham ay ap dung vao moi viec thuc te. Ban se nghe nhieu nguoi bao rang cai tinh y te nhi la mot nguyen to cua thanh cong, rang cai bien phap de mo mot con duong xuyen qua dam dong va noi len, la chi re ho de ho phai nhuong cho cho ta.

Ban oi, nhung nguyen ly ay tot trong thoi trung co, khi cac ong hoang ba chua, co nhung luc luong doi thu de tieu diet nhau. Nhung bay gio tat ca la cong khai va cai le loi ay se dem lai cho ban nhieu dieu tai hai.

Boi vi ban se gap truoc mat ban hoac mot con nguoi trung thuc va thanh thuc, hoac mot ke thu phan boi. han se dung nhung loi vu khong, noi xau, lua bip, thi ban hay biet rang ban khong co mot tro thu nao dac luc hon la chinh han ta.Ke thu cua han chinh la han. Ban co the chong lai han voi nhung khi trung thuc, som hay muon, han se bi moi nguoi khinh bi.

Con doi voi nguoi thu nhat, long chan thanh cua ban se gianh duoc su qui trong cua nguoi ay, va khi quyen loi cua hai ben da duoc gia quyet on thoa roi, (boi vi cuoi cung moi viec deu co the dan xep) nguoi ay se co ich cho ban. Ban dung so co ke thu, that la tai hai neu ai khong co ke thu trong cai xa hoi ma ban sap buoc vao. nhung ban hay co gang tranh dung lam cai gi lo lang, dung lam cai gi de nguoi ta mat long ton trong minh.

I say try, for a man is not always master of his fate, he is subject to circumstances beyond his control; you cannot escape the mud from the gutter or the danger of the falling tile. Morality has its streams whence dishonored folk try to splash the noblest individuals with the mud in which they are about to drown.

But you can always command respect by showing yourself, in all spheres, implacable when you have once made up your mind. In this conflict of ambitions, in the midst of this web of difficulties, always make straight for the fact, tackle the problem resolutely and never fight save on a point of honor, and then with all your might.

....One point I can stress; all cunning, all double-dealing gets found out and harms the doer in the end; whereas any situation is less risky, to my mind, when a man takes his stand on the terrain of candor.

You will often find yourself in a position to be of use to others, to do them a favour, and you will get scant reward of it. But do not inmitate those who complain of men and boast of meeting nothing but ingratitude.

Is that not putting oneself on a pedestal? Then again, is it not rather foolish to admit how little one knows of the world? But will you do good the way a usurer lends his money? Will you not do it for its own sake? Noblesse oblige!

Toi noi, ban hay co gang, boi vi con nguoi khong phai luc nao cung la chu cua minh, ho bi tuy thuoc vao nhung hoan canh ac nghiet, o do ban khong the tranh duoc bun ranh vay, hay hon ngoi roi. Luan ly co nhung cai ranh bun ma nhung ke da bi mat danh du, chim trong bun ranh, muon lam vay bun len nhung con nguoi cao quy.

Nhung ban van co the giu duoc long ton trong cua moi nguoi trong moi moi truong hop bang mot thai do cuong quyet trong nhung quyet dinh cuoi cung cua ban. Trong nhung cuoc va cham day tham vong ay, giua nhung cai kho khan chang chit, ban hay luon luon di thang toi su viec, cuong quyet tien toi van de, va chi nhan chien dau o mot tran diem voi tat ca nghi luc cua ban.

....Toi co the nhan manh vao dieu nay; Moi tinh quai, moi lua doi deu se bi vach ra va cuoi cung deu co hai, trong khi bat cu hoan canh nao cung khong nguy hiem neu mot con nguoi van giu long thanh thuc.

....Ban se nhieu luc giup do duoc nhieu nguoi, lam loi cho ho, nhung ban se it duoc tra on, nhung ban dung bat chuoc nhung ke than phien moi nguoi va khoe la minh chi gap toan nhung ke vo on.

The co phai la muon dat minh len mot cai tuong dai? Va cung lai phan nao thay rang minh ngay tho khong hieu biet xa hoi? Nhung ban co muon lam viec tot nhu mot ke cho vay nang lai? Ban co lam viec thien vi cai thien khong? Pham chat cao quy do hoi phai nhu the.

Nevertheless, do not render such great services that you force people to be ungrateful, for they will become your irreconcilable enemies; there is such a thing as the despair of being beholden just as there is the despair of ruin, and it lends incalculable strength.

As for you, accept as little as you can from others. Do not be anybody's vassal; stand on your own feet. I am giving you advice, my dear, only in the little things of life. In the world of politics, everything takes a different aspect; the rules which govern the individual bend before great interests.

But if you should reach the sphere where great men move, you would be like God, the sole judge of your decisions. You would not then be a man,. you would be living law; you would no longer be an individual, but the incarnation of the nation. Later, you will appear before the centuries and you know enough of history to appreciate the sentiments and the actions which give birth to true greatness.

Va lai ban cung dung lam nhung viec giup do khien cho nguoi moi nguoi phai tro nen vo on, vi nhung ke do se la nhung ke thu truyen kiep cua ban. Co cai tuyet vong cua su chiu on, cung nhu cai tuyet vong cua su pha san, no dem lai cho con nguoi tuyet vong nhung suc manh vo ke.

Con doi voi ban, ban hay nhan it nhat cua nguoi khac, dung la than tu cua mot linh hon nao, chi la toi cua ban than minh thoi. Toi chi dua cho ban nhung y kien ve nhung chuyen nho nhat trong cuoc song thoi. Trong cai xa hoi chinh tri, tat ca luon luon thay doi hinh thai. Nhung quy tat chi phoi ban than doi khi phai uon theo nhung quyen loi lon.

Nhung neu ban co the tien len duoc cai moi truong ma nhung con nguoi than the hoat dong, thi cung nhu Dang Tao Hoa, ban se la nguoi quyet dinh mot minh hanh dong cua ban. Ban se, luc ay khong con la mot con nguoi, ma ban se la quy luat song. Ban se khong con la mot ca nhan, ban se la hien than cua quoc gia. Nhung neu ban xet xu, ban cung se bi xet xu. Sau nay ban se phai ra trinh dien truoc lich su, truoc hau the va ban hieu biet lich su du de nhan thuc the nao la nhung tinh cam, nhung hanh dong san sinh ra cai lon lao that su.