How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don't criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.

Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.

Du nguoi ta co loi nang den dau, thi trong 100 lan, co toi 99 lan nguoi ta cung tu cho la vo toi.

Chi trich chang nhung da vo ich, vi no lam cho ke bi chi trich phai chong cu lai va tu bao chua, ma con nguy hiem, vi no lam thuong ton long tu ai cua nguoi va gay ra oan thu.

There you are; human nature in action, wrongdoers, blaming everybody but themselves. We are all like that.

Let's realize that criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home. Let's realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return.

Tam trang cua con nguoi la nhu vay do, ke lam sai quay lai oan trach tat ca moi nguoi, nhung chang bao gio oan trach minh ca. Ban cung vay ma toi cung vay.

Ta nen hieu rang nhung loi chi trich ta thot ra, cung nhu chim bo cau, bao gio cung tro ve cho cu. Ke bi ta chi trich se tim ly luan de du bao chua va tro lai buoc toi ta.

If you and I want to stir up a resentment tomorrow that may rankle across the decades and endure until death, just let us indulge in a little stinging criticism--no matter how certain we are that it is justified.

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

Vay neu ban muon nguoi ta oan cho toi chet, thi hay dung nhung loi chi trich cay doc. Con khong thi nen nho rang, loai nguoi khong phai luon luon co ly tri dau. Ho hanh dong, suy nghi theo tinh cam, thanh kien, long kieu cang, va hom hinh cua ho.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain--and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

"A great man shows his greatness," said Carlyle, "by the way he treats little men."

"Father Forgets". As Dr. Johnson said: "God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days." Why should you and I?"

Chi trich, oan trach, buoc loi cho nguoi thi ke dien nao cung biet. Nhung hieu nguoi va tha thu cho nguoi thi phai co tam hon cao ca va suc tu chu manh me moi lam duoc.

Carlyle noi: "Muon xet do luong cua ai chi can xem cach xu su cua nguoi do voi ke duoi."

" Duc Thuong De ma con doi nguoi ta chet moi xet cong va toi. Tao sao nguoi pham nhu chung ta lai nghiem khac hon ngai?"

Instead of condemning people, let's try to understands them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do. That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness. "To know all is to forgive all."

Principle 1: Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.

Vay thi thay vi buoc toi, chi trich nguoi khac ta phai co gang hieu ho, tim nguyen nhan nhung hanh vi cua ho. Do la nguon goc cua cam tinh, khoan dung, va hoa hao.

Nguyen ta thu nhat: Dung phe binh, buoc toi, va chi trich.

There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it.

Remember, there is no other way.

Muon dan du ai lam mot viec gi theo y ta, chi co cach la lam cho nguoi ay phat khoi cai y muon lam viec do. Xin ban hay nho dieu ay. Xin ban hay nho rang khong con cach thu hai nao nua.

Of course, you can make someone want to give you his watch by sticking a revolver in his ribs. You can make employees give you cooperation--until your back is turned--by threatening to fire them.

You can make a child do what you want it to do by a whip or a threat. But these crude methods have sharply undesirable repercussions. The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want.

Da danh ban co the chia sung sau vao bung mot nguoi qua duong ma bat nguoi do phai coi dong ho ra dua cho ban. Ban cung co the bat mot nguoi lam cong phai cham chi lam viec cho toi khi ban quay lung di, ban cach doa cho han nghi viec.

Cam chiec roi may, ban co the bat con nit vang loi duoc. Nhung nhung cach tan bao do co nhung phan dong ra tai hai. Muon cam dong ai va dan du nguoi do toi hanh dong, chi co cach la nguoi ta muon gi, hay cho nguoi ta cai do.

What do you want? Not many thing, but the few things that you do wish, you crave with an insistence that will not be denied. Some of things most people want include:
1. Health and the preservation of life.
2. Food.
3. Sleep.
4. Money and the things money will buy.
5. Life in the hereafter
6. Sexual gratification.
7. The well-being of your children.
8. A feeling of importance.

Sigmund Freud said that everything you and I do springs from two motives: the sex urge and the desire to be great.

John Dewey, one of America's most profound philosophers, phrased it a bit differently. Dr. Dewey said that the deepest urge in human nature is " the desire to be important." Remember that phrase: "the desire to be important." It is significant. You are going to hear a lot about it in this book.

Ma chung ta muon nhung gi? It lam, nhung khi chung ta da muon thi chung ta nang nac doi cho ky duoc. Nhung cai chung ta muon la:
1. Suc khoe va sanh mang.
2. An
3. Ngu
4. Tien cua
5. De tieng lai doi sau
6. Thoa man nhuc duc
7. Con cai chung ta duoc moi su day du
8. Duoc nguoi khac coi ta la quan trong.

Freud, nha tam ly hoc, noi rang co hai thi duc can ban cua nhan loai la tinh duc va thi duc huyen nga.

Triet gia John Dewey noi: "thi hieu manh nhat cua nhan loai la thi duc huyen nga." Xin cac ban nho ky cau "thi duc huyen nga." Nghia la no vo cung quan trong va ban se thuong nghe noi trong cuon sach nay.

Almost all these wants are usually gratified--all except one. But there is one longing--almost as deep, almost as imperious, as the desire for food or sleep--which is seldom gratified. It is what Freud calls "the desire to be great." It is what Dewey calls "the desire to be important."

Bay thi duc khac deu de dang thoa man, duy co thi duc huyen nga thi lai it khi duoc thoa man. Tuy rang no cung khan cap nhu an va ngu.

Abraham Lincoln once began a letter saying: "Everybody likes a compliment."

William James said: "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." He didn't speak, mind you, of the "wish" or the "desire" or the "longing" to be appreciated. He said the "craving" to be appreciated.

Lincoln noi: "Ai cung muon duoc nguoi ta khen minh." Chung ta deu khao khat nhung loi khen chan thanh. Nhung it khi nguoi ta cho chung ta dieu ay.

Here is a gnawing and unfaltering human hunger, and the rare individual who honest satisfied this heart hunger will hold people in the palm of his or her hands and "even the undertaker will be sorry when he dies."

The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals. If your ancestors hadn't had this flaming urge for a feeling of importance, civilization would have been impossible. Without it, we should have been just about like animals.

Nhung ke nao hoc duoc cai bi quyet lam thoa man long doi khat loi khen do, no tuy kin dao ma day vo nguoi ta, dam re trong long nguoi ta, thi ke ay "nam duoc moi nguoi trong long ban tay cua minh" va duoc moi nguoi ton trong, sung bai, nghe loi, "khi chet di, ke dao huyet chon nguoi do cung phai khoc nguoi do nua."

Loai vat khong co cai duc vong ay. Neu cac bac tien nhan khong co thi duc tro nen quan trong do, thi van minh cung khon co va chung ta cung chi nhu loai vat ma thoi.

It was this desire for a feeling of importance that led an uneducated, poverty-stricken grocery clerk to study some law books he found in the bottom of a barrel of household plunder that he had bought for fifty cents. You have probably heard of this grocery clerk. His name was Lincoln.

(Will be continued)

Nho nhu cau do ma mot thay ky quen cua mot tiem tap hoa, hoc luc do dang, mua nhung sach luat rach nat, ve mai miet hoc de roi tro nen vi nhan. Ten cua anh ta la Lincoln.